Four years into starting a homestead and I can honestly say that my husband and I have never been closer. There were some very challenging times in the beginning of our journey, but this life was a dream for both of us. Frankly there were times that I cried my eyes out. Nothing seemed to be going as planned. Everything was so overwhelming and we were torn in different directions.
Homesteading became possible for us when my husband lost his job and then found a better paying one in another state. It was a more rural area with more affordable housing. Having a homestead was what we had both always wanted. The problem was, we never had a serious conversation about what that meant to each of us. So much of our stress could have been avoided had we made a plan and decided what we could handle.
Here is what I would recommend if you both want to start a homestead.
- Have serious conversation about what homesteading means to you. Homesteading comes in so many different forms.
- Be honest with yourself and each other about what you can handle. What are your strengths and weakness? Don’t guess. For instance, if you have never done any sort of home improvement before, don’t assume you will be great at it.
- Do less than you want to the first year. That first year will be a season of discovery. You will learn about your land, issues with your home and so much about yourself. The stress of starting a new job or moving is a lot on its own.
- Do not blow your budget buying everything U Tube says that you need.
- Take a break sometimes to relax and enjoy each other. Get some ice cream or enjoy time together by the fire.
- Be patient with each other. There have been times that I really wanted to move forward with a project but my husband said no. Let it go.
- Get good at one thing before moving onto the next. Things will get out of hand very quickly if you start all these projects but can’t manage them well. Resentment can build when costly projects fail.
- Move towards a debt-free lifestyle
- Enjoy the new life you are creating for yourselves. Find ways to have fun while you work. It’s easy to forget that homesteading was the dream when you are too exhausted to enjoy it.
- Make friends in your new community. Sometimes too much isolation isn’t a good thing.
Starting a homestead was much more difficult than we both thought it would be but it has given us back more than we could have hoped for. We are more at peace now than we have ever been. There will always be challenges with homesteading. Learning to tackle them together will strengthen your marriage in so many ways.
